Have you ever heard of them? Go to Youtube and type it into a search. Have your kleenex handy. They aren’t as good an example because a couple of them push the decision theology and it goes into what they have done for God and not necessarily what God has done for them, but you get the gist.
I don’t talk a lot about my faith. I assure you I have it. I just don’t feel the need or the necessity to blab about it. I struggle and fall short like everyone else. I try to be a good example - sometimes I do great, and sometimes I fail miserably. I’m a human being that also happens to be a Christian.
However, now, I’m feeling the need to share one time that I saw God working in my life so loud and clear that He might as well have been standing there talking to me. Not many times in my life I had moments like this - actually sitting here right now, none come to mind.
This is kind of long, so please bear with me.
Ok, so I said I would talk about Easter, which came and went after the blog site went down, and it was before I got on Facebook. A month or so before Easter, we got a letter from church asking if Adam and I would be willing to do a cardboard testimony regarding our decision to adopt. We would have to get with them to put the testimony together, go to a rehearsal, and be in all 4 Easter Sunday services. Adam had to work, and they said I could do it by myself. I didn’t initially want to do it - there’s nothing we can say that’s inspiring or anything, we don’t even have our kids. I’ve said before that until they are in our arms, I will keep thinking that one day someone is going to tell us “no.” Long story short, I decided to do it, and came up with a very short and sweet testimony.
On the front - “Infertility - Can we be parents?”
On the back - “God says Adopt!!”
At the session where we made the cardboards, I met the person who had thought of us for this. She had been reading our prayer requests back when we were dealing with the infertility on through our decision to adopt and everything after that. Her and her husband went through the same type of infertility we did. Even though 40% of all infertility comes from the husband, you just don’t run into that many people. Also you, as a couple, deal with it differently than if it’s the wife. On my end, I had to set aside any thoughts of having kids, and devote my attention to building up Adam’s self worth as a man and as my husband. I don’t care if you are in the medical field and understand what’s going on in the most clinical sense - for guys, it hits them in the most primal way. However, I didn’t really know anyone who went through it like this, so I couldn’t really get any advice on how to deal with it, so I prayed and winged it. Oh my goodness, people’s reactions, at least from the ones who know what’s going on… no, you can’t blame people when they just don’t understand, but the usual stuff just doesn’t work with us. For one, a zero sperm count is a whole different thing than a low sperm count. Low sperm count can be fixable, or at least workable. Zero sperm count can possibly not be fixable, as it was in our case - zero means what it’s supposed to mean - nothing. Also, I’m not going to get pregnant after the adoption is final. I don’t care how many people you know who did once they “relax.” I know people who did too. It’s not going to happen to me. Sorry to sound like I’m venting, but memories are starting to come back. My point is we don’t know many people who went through this so it was a blessing to meet someone who did and who it seems went through the same thought processes we did. They had adopted 2 sons who are now college age.
So, in a nutshell for that at least, God told me that what we went through was perfectly normal and human.
Two weeks before Easter, my mom was informing me about our annual Eastern brunch which is usually around 10-11 in the morning every Easter. I told her I couldn’t go because I was going to be in all the services. She asked me what I was doing. I told her I couldn’t explain it well (and she doesn’t have internet access) and her and dad would just have to come see for themselves. Mom and dad never go to church unless it’s a wedding or a funeral. They actually came to the first service…and liked it. I saw my dad dabbing his eyes during the cardboard testimonies, and actually volunteered to me that he found it moving.
You can guess what God told me there.
Before the first service, I’m looking at everyone’s cardboards. I kept thinking, why am I here??? Oh my goodness, the things these people who were also doing this had gone through, and their testiment to God’s Grace… and I’m crying… Boy did I do a lot of crying, and hugging, and crying… Inbetween services I met so many people who have gone through adoptions, either as the one adopting or the adoptee. I met an activist for children who lobbys our state legislature to change our laws to favor the best interests of the child in order to make it easier to adopt domestically - she told me that she doesn’t blame us at all for adopting internationally and actually recommends it to people until our laws change. She also goes to schools and talks to girls about self-esteem and self-worth - the biggest causes of teen pregnancy in my opinion - and about protecting themselves. I met people with questions about international adoption, and the country we chose and I was able to answer those questions. I met a couple who just brought home a little boy from Vietnam two weeks prior, and the little boy who was just precious, and attaching and bonding so well. I met so many great inspiring people. I don’t know if I touched anyone, but maybe I was meant to be there so I could be touched.
The day was one of the biggest blessings that I ever remember having. It was up there with meeting my husband, getting married, and stuff like that. Too bad he couldn’t have been there, but I enjoyed filling him in.
Ok, back to the present. We got our weekly update from the agency. A lot of kids got referred this week. One of the special needs siblings (not the ones we were looking at) got snatched up. The issue in-country is still going on. We are still looking into the special need in question and our update actually included some sources for that - sweet.
Since we extended our age range up to age 6, we found out we have to take an internet course on the needs of older children in adoptions. No biggie, and we can use all the information we can get.
After pouring my heart out here, and sobbing in the process, I think I’m going to have a shot of tequila and go to bed. I have the tequila because I hosted this week’s Bible Study and I prepared a fajita bar - the meat had to be marinated in something good - and it had to have been good because there was almost none left. There is a lime left. and salt…
Have a wonderful and safe Memorial Day Weekend!!
May 26th, 2009 at 9:11 am Amazing story!!!!!! Love you guys!