Happy New Year!
The thing about Facebook, it makes you lazy on the blogging. It’s easy to post a quick update there, instead of coming over here where I feel like I have to give more of a narrative, and especially during the Holidays, who has time? I’ve been meaning to come over here, but nothing really stuck out to write a whole blog about until I saw the above phrase. About that in a minute.
It’s not like there hasn’t been news. Back in November, our consultant had just popped a letter to check on us and to tell us where we are on the list. The poor woman must get bombarded daily by people wanting to know where they are, so we purposely don’t bother her about that. We read the weekly updates, and try to calculate in our heads to get an idea, but hadn’t done that too seriously, until then when she told us we were under 20. BTW, I’ve seen others post their number so I guess we are allowed to. We were 17.
We had a good Christmas, but December was rather crazy with family stuff. My uncle passed away from a rather short but vicious, painful battle with cancer. Work got pretty busy all of a sudden. Still, Adam and I over the Holidays made some time to sit at a restaurant, just the two of us, where it’s nice and quiet, and marvel that this is the last Christmas holiday where we will be able to do that, for a while. We took a deep breath and reflected on the fact that 2010 is going to change our lives as we know it, if not turn them completely upside down and inside out.
Even with all the reflecting, I don’t think it had really sank in what’s going to be happening - and that we voluntarily signed up and are paying money for it, and that somehow we are going to make it work. In a way that’s bothered me. Am I really that clueless at what we are getting ourselves into? I can talk the academics of it all night. I think I’ve become quite knowledgeable about adoption in general, and about where the future kids are coming from. I’m kidding myself if I think that’s the same as them actually being here. I need a dose of reality BEFORE they get here so I can really start preparing - and I’m not talking about the reality of you volunteering your kids to us for a few days - bonding with kids is not the same as taking them off your hands to do that thing my sister-in-law likes to call “practice.” Adam can also use a similar dose of reality as well, I think.
So, where can I go to get the bigger dose of reality? Well, there is a Yahoo group for everyone adopting through our agency. You can get a lot of really good information regarding travel, what to expect while there, and tips/feedback on the bonding process for when you get back. There are people posting when it’s going well, and people posting when it’s not so much. At the same time, any tiny rumor that is out there about the adoption process will show up. Further when you get a bunch of parents in one spot talking about their kids and other people’s kids, they tend to get a bit militant and sensitive about certain things. Adam and I had decided to avoid the Yahoo groups initially because we figured the negative could outweigh the positive in the wait. Well, we are getting close so now is as good a time as any to get on board.
I e-mailed our consultant and requested to get on the Yahoo groups. In our e-mail exchanges last week, she told us that we were down to 6 on the famous “list.” SINGLE DIGITS!! Oh my goodness. Depending on who comes up for referral, it could be any day for us. Or, it could be another 2 months. Wow. Realistic to start doing serious work to the kids’ bedroom like get the new flooring we were talking about. Oh my goodness!!
Also, I got on the Yahoo group. Since getting on there over the weekend, I have to physically make myself click out of it, or I will stay on there for hours reading all the information - not much got done this weekend. Most of what is on there is great, but there are a couple of yucky rumors out there.
Today, there was a topic on kind of what I’ve been talking about. We know what we are doing, we are preparing for it, but do we really KNOW? Are we really excited, or are we clueless? Are these dreams that we meet the kids and they run away from us screaming going to come true? What if we don’t feel the connection? (can you tell my real feelings/fears are coming out now) One person posted the above words - fake it till you feel it. She’s right. So, that’s my motto now. That’s how I’m going to mentally get through this, and it will work.
On the administrative side, we do have to update our Home Study, and Adam has been taking care of that part in finding out what we need and preparing the paperwork. Further, we can’t put off getting shots any longer, so he’s arranging the appointments so we can get that over with.
Also, on the Yahoo Boards, a set of twin boys (2 1/2 years old) were referred to a family waiting longer than we have, so that puts us at 5 on the list. Deep breaths.